


As innocence dies, wisdom is born.

by Rae_Joker



Series: Female Morty Stories [3]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Aliens, Angst, Drug Abuse, Drug Use, Everyone will get drunk or high at some point, Female Morty, Fuck the Federation, Gun Violence, I'll just see how it goes, Jessica becomes a total badass, Possible Interspecies Relationship(s), Underage Drinking, Underage Drug Use, i'm not sure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-10-28
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-04-28 16:03:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5096714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rae_Joker/pseuds/Rae_Joker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After his best friend died at his own wedding, Squanchy managed to sneak to Earth hoping to find Rick.  Instead, he found an angry teenage girl with a few of her grandfather's blueprints and a deep hatred for the federation.  Squanchy decides it's time he goes back to fighting the Federation, and Jessica is determined to get Rick back.  Working together, they become the most feared freedom fighters in the universe.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meeting Up

Squanchy was very good at being stealthy, so getting to Earth and into the Smith house was no problem.  He slipped quietly through the house, trying to remember where all the different rooms were.  Upstairs was a given, so he walked up the simple wood stairs.  On the right, he could swear he remembered seeing either Rick's or Jessica's room was on the right.  Maybe both, or neither, he was pretty high and drunk the one time he was here.  Deciding to take a chance, he opened the first door on the right.  Immediately, someone he couldn't see in the dark swung a crowbar, hitting right above his head.  "Whoa, holy squanch!"

"Squanchy?!"  The light flipped on and standing there was Jessica.  He remembered her as a sweet, shy kid, but right now, with her bedhead, eyes red and puffy, armed with a crowbar, she didn't look so sweet and shy.  "You scared me!"

"I scared you?!  You're the one swingin' a squanchin' crowbar at my head!"

"Good point, s-sorry."  She tossed the crowbar onto the bed.  "Wh-what are you doing here?"

"Lookin' for Rick.  Where is he?"

She frowned.  This couldn't be good.  "He-he was caught and a-arrested by the federation..."

Squanchy felt like his heart had stopped.  " _Arrested_?! Rick Squanchin Sanchez?! No way!"

"Unfortunately... It w-was all over the news..."

Squanchy took a moment to let that sink in.  Rick, the smartest person he knew, in _prison_?! It seemed impossible, but it had happened.  "Fuck..."  He looked at Jessica, feeling a hint of concern.  "And, uh, how are you squanchin with all this?"  From the few times he'd seen her, and what he'd heard from Bird Person, she was extremely close to the old man, and probably wouldn't be taking his arrest well.

She frowned hard.  "I-I was really upset at first... Cried for-for days."  She picked up the crowbar from her bed, weighing it in her hands.  "Now I'm pissed off."

Squanchy glanced at the crowbar.  "What's that for?"

"R-Rick hid some of his blueprints under my floorboards in-in case of emergency, i-i-in a special box that can't be detected on Federation scanners.  I'm gonna see if I can use any of them to build something t-to get my grandpa back."

Squanchy hesitated a moment.  "Y'know, you're gonna need materials to build this stuff. And you ain't gonna squanch far on your own, with no spaceship.  What do you say.... You and I squanch together?  It's better than either of us squanching it alone."

She paused, thinking about it.  She pulled up her rug and pointed out a few floorboards.  "Can you start pulling these up while I pack a few things?"

He grinned.  "Hell yeah!"  He took the crowbar and started prying up the floorboards as she got a bag from her closet and started shoving some of her clothes into it.  Soon, he found the box she mentioned and pulled it out.  "Squanched it!"

"Great, I'm almost done." She took a few more things out of her dresser before zipping the bag.  "Where's your ship?"

"Squanched just outside of town.  By the way, where are your folks?  I'm surprised we haven't squanched them up."

"I put sleeping pills in their food tonight.  I was planning on leaving, and I didn't want them to try to stop me.  Besides, they'll be safer the less they know about where I've gone."

He nodded.  "Then let's squanch out of here."


	2. Hideouts and Rules

Squanchy, in his totally justified paranoia, had set up an emergency hideout back when he was still in the Flesh Curtains with Rick and Bird Person, just in case everything went to shit and he and his friends needed someplace safe to stay.  That was where he brought Jessica after they left earth.  He landed his stolen spaceship on the hidden landing pad and led her into the small, underground house.  He'd set it up to be pretty simple, a bedroom for himself and each of his bandmates, a small kitchen, and a living area with a TV.  "Squanch yourself at home, kid.  You can squanch Pers' room."  He sipped from the bottle of beer in his hand at the thought of his friend.  He'd miss that overgrown pigeon.

"Thanks."

As she went to her new room to put her things away, Squanchy went to see how much food they had.  He really needed to get more, especially with the two of them living there.  He thought about how to go about getting the food.  He was a wanted criminal, so he couldn't exactly go grocery shopping.  Jessica, on the other hand, was a fairly average looking girl, with no criminal record.  Brown-haired brown-eyed human girls were a dime a dozen, and since the federation had sent humans across the galaxy, no one would look twice at a skinny teenage girl buying groceries.

He went to go tell Jessica what he'd decided, but the second he opened the door, he was greeted with the sight of her in a denim skirt and a white bra, a yellow t-shirt in her hands.  She immediately let out a sharp shriek, holding the t-shirt over her chest.  "Get out!"

Squanchy quickly obliged.  Jesus, living with a girl was definitely going to be different from living with his bandmates.  He supposed he should have thought ahead a little more, but Squanchy was impulsive by nature.

After a few minutes later, Jessica came out of her room, her cheeks red and a slightly irritated expression on her face.  Eager to smooth things over, he gave an apologetic smile.  "Eh, sorry about that. My bad."

Jessica was quiet a moment before taking a deep breath.  "Squanchy, i-if we're going to be living together, I think we're g-gonna need to have at least a few ground rules."

Now if there was one thing Squanchy hated, it was rules.  They were the worst.  But he did want to make this go as smoothly as possible, so he decided to hear her out.  "Like what?"

"W-well, the biggest one is that we both need to-to knock before going into the other's room."

"Ok, fair enough.  Anything else?"

"J-just one other thing I can think of.  Th-the biggest problem I ever had with R-rick was that he'd never tell me anything.  I-I-I don't want that to be a problem for us. So a-at least with stuff related to fighting the F-Federation, I think we should agree n-not to keep secrets."

"That squanches pretty fair.  Deal."

She gave a small smile, which he returned.  Maybe this wouldn't be too awkward.


	3. Let's get drunk.

Squanchy and Jessica had been living together for about a month, trying to find a way to fight the Federation.  Squanchy spent his time gathering all the information he could on the federation and collecting anything he or Jessica needed.  Jessica stayed home and worked on building the things from her grandfather's blueprints, as well as taking care of the more domestic responsibilities, like making sure the house didn't get _too_ messy, although they both could be a little sloppy, and taking care of meals.  For the most part, they gave each other space, but Squanchy made sure she knew everything he learned about the Federation, and Jessica in turn kept him updated on how rebuilding her grandfather's inventions was coming.

 

One night, Squanchy came back from a particularly unproductive day.  He hadn't found any new information about the federation, and he hadn't been able to find half of the materials Jessica had asked for.  The best part about the day had been managing to steal a lot of beer and whiskey.

When he got back to the hideout, Jessica was sitting at the small table in the kitchen, working on some sort of gun.  She'd been working on it since he picked her up from Earth.  "How's it squanchin'?" he asked, opening a beer.

"I hate this stupid gun, I hate my grandpa for being a genius, and I hate myself for being stupid."

"Yikes, someone needs a break."  He grabbed another beer and slid it to her.  "Squanch up."

"I don't drink.  And I need to keep working."

"Kid, trust me, you're not gonna squanch much if you don't squanch out once in a while."

"I still don't drink."

"Have you ever squanched it?"

"Well... no..."

He smirked. "Just squanch a little, relax, have some squanch."

She still seemed uncertain, but she took the beer and took a cautious sip.  She immediately started coughing, making a little bit of a face.  "Jesus, how do you drink this stuff?!"

He laughed a little.  "It's an acquired taste.  Squanch some more, it'll get better."

He thought for a minute she would refuse, but she slowly took another sip.  Then another.  Soon the beer was gone.  "Want another?"

"Sure."

 

Before much longer, Jessica was very drunk.  Squanchy, who was barely tipsy, found it a little funny that the granddaughter of the heaviest drinker he knew (excluding himself) was such a lightweight.  The next time the teen reached for a beer, he stopped her.  "I think you've squanched enough, kid."

"C-c'mon, just one more..." she slurred drunkenly, swaying slightly.

"Kid, you're already drunk."

" 'M not drunk... Y-you're drunk..."

He couldn't help but snicker.  "Kid, I'm far from squanched.  I think you need to go to bed.  You're already gonna squanch like shit in the morning."

In spite of the her protests, Squanchy pulled the teen to her room, pushing her onto the bed before leaving and closing the door.  He then proceeded to get very drunk and pass out in his own room.

 

The next morning, Squanchy was woken by the sound of someone throwing up.  After drinking a little whiskey to cure his hangover, he went to the open bathroom door and saw poor Jessica puking her guts out into the toilet.  "Rough morning?" he asked, half teasing, half sympathetic.  When she didn't reply, he stepped up next to her and held her hair back.  "Just squanch it out, kiddo.  When this eases up some, I'll squanch ya some water."

Soon, the vomiting stopped, and Squanchy got her some mouthwash to rinse her mouth out while he went to get her some water and dry toast.  If it were him or Rick, they'd just drink more, but he didn't want to fuck the kid up to their level.  He already introduced her to alcohol, he wasn't about to turn her into a complete alcoholic, not least of all because Rick would kill him when they got him back.  He spent the day looking after his friend, and also seeing if he could make any progress on the gun she'd been working so hard on.

Late that night, the door to her room opened and the teen slowly came out.  Squanchy looked up and smiled.  "Hey, kid.  How you squanching?"

"Better, thanks."  She came over and sat across the table from him.  "And thanks for helping me today."

"No problem, kid."  He gave a teasing smirk.  "So, you squanchin off booze?"

Jessica paused a moment.  "No.  I-I just need to be more careful so I don't get so hungover and s-sick."

"Good policy."  He looked at the gun he'd been working on.  "I think this is nearly done.  When it's done, I can teach ya how to shoot if you don't already know."

"R-r-r.... H-he taught me a little... I have been able to get very good yet..."

Squanchy felt a twinge of pity.  Jessica hadn't been able to say Rick's name in the time they lived together, and if he said his name, she would flinch badly.  As he thought that first night, she wasn't taking life without her grandpa very well.  So he just did what he could to help her.  "Then I'll help you get better.  Soon, we'll be fighting the Federation and getting your grandpa back."

Jessica smiles and nodded.  "Can't wait."


End file.
